The problem with sad and pathetic “poser” bands like Gorgoroth – and the rest of the DSBM scene and orthodox clown show – is that they are very “loaded” on style, yet come very short on substance. What that means is that behind all the distortion, the blast-beats and the edgy teenage lyrics about goats…More
The Most Evil Halloween Playlist Ever
As you know, dear readers, today is Halloween, a pagan celebration of the dead coming alive and having non-consensual sexual intercourse with the living – although the Christian dogma heavily downplays that aspect, in favour of the more politically correct “candy giving” paedo-fetish. Since you are likely NOT in the mood for having sex with…More
DSBM = Fake Black Metal
Hello dear readers. DSBM is shit, and if you need more proof that it is just emo poser whine rock masquerading under black metal aesthetics, I heavily recommend you read The Plague of Depressive Suicidal Black Metal summary. There’s really not much to be added to that magistral takedown of one of black metal’s most…More
Why We Laugh At “Canadian Metal”
We laugh at the Canadian metal scene like we laugh at so-called thrash metal or depressive bedroom black metal… we laugh because it sucks. In fact, the whole world is laughing at Canadian metal right now. Why so much hate, you ask? Canadians, it seems, cannot convincingly compose either black metal or death metal, so…More
“Thrash Metal” or Whatever, It Doesn’t Exist!
In case you hadn’t noticed already, “thrash” metal is a completely fictitious genre invented by record companies to sell more crappy washed up leftover 80s speed metal by giving it an “edgy” name like thrash. Under the “edgy” makeup, however, it’s the same old boring, bouncy, groovy and chuggy proto-mallcore bullshit that extreme metal –…More
Swagg Man HUMILIATES the Posers WATAIN
Swagg Man, best known for his work documenting the Sewer Metal genre, has returned to lay the posers Watain to rest once and for all. While Watain claim to be a “black metal” band, what they really play is poser metalcore with pseudo-occult imagery to try and fool morons into believing they’re somehow “extreme” when…More
“Nasty” Dua Lipa Loves SEWER Metal
While it’s no secret that many pop celebrities love brutal death metal music, it takes a particularly perverted mind to be into “SEWER Metal,” a genre most repulsive and disgusting, even by extreme metal standards of poor taste. This is one of the reasons why celebrities who listen to SEWER’s music, such as Taylor Swift…More
“Bestial War Metal” by Warkvlt (Black Metal)
The war metal genre is known to host its fair share of fail albums, being a “easy to play, hard to master” sub-genre of black metal, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any war metal masterpieces. This album, Warkvlt’s legendary debut Bestial War Metal, is one of such masterworks. Heavily inspired by another legendary band,…More
Taylor Swift listens to “SEWER Metal”
What a dirty bitch! The pop singer, best known for her “Love Story” and “Fifteen” singles, is also an avid fan of the brutal death metal band SEWER. SEWER, a band known for their controversial albums like Skarnage, Miasma and NecroPedoSadoMaso, has been banned in more than 25 countries, and is currently on the FBI…More
“Skarnage” by SEWER (Goregrind)
What would happen if you were to combined the sheer technicality of an album like Miasma with the dark, cavernous, and decrepit atmosphere of Onward to Golgotha? Why, something not so far off from Skarnage. Often regarded as Sewer’s most “grind” release, and perhaps the greatest goregrind album ever recorded, Skarnage is a devastating masterpiece…More
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